But I think it’s fun. I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am. I’m starting to think it’s beautiful. That being different is gift. However at times one must conform to society’s expectations but should still hold on to their own unique vagaries.
So I’ve heard rumors about This Nebby chick Drake was/is dating. And for some reason I really felt that. It was like an ex of mine moving on type shit. I’m actually hurt. It’s kinda funny lol, but not really :’(
Some days I can’t help it. The loss hurts and I break down. I really do. Most people have no idea, because I’m naturally good at hiding my emotions and I refuse to let others see me when I’m low. Lately I’ve been slowing shying away from my goals, and I’ve been slacking off. But that’s gonna end soon. I made a promise that I would never give up, and I plan to uphold that. Sometimes I don’t give myself enough credit and think everyone else feels the same way. In all actuality I just want to find someone to be there for me. It’s unfair sometimes when I see others who are lucky enough to have someone who truly cares about them, and here I am the lone wolf. I don’t know what to do about it, but find fault within myself. I hate to complain about things that are unchangeable. But lately it’s been getting to me. I’ve feel in love once and it hurt so badly. Since then I’ve tried to self-medicate that pain, to no avail. It’s a lonely road I’m facing. I wish others would take it with me, but at this moment in time, I doubt that’s going to happen. Hopefully, and I mean I pray that I find that special someone to make it all worth it…and soon. But until then I’ll just focus on school, my future and bettering myself as a person. Ehh, we’ll see what happens until then.
To find out that I don’t have any matches for me, and that they’re sorry.
Nobody will ever love me…
I don’t know why. I just really want to get married young. It’s funny actually considering my intelligence but I do. I might waste all my efforts and talents but I really want to marry right when I’m 18 with a healthy christian marriage. I want a sexy ass guy who’s in his late twenties or early thirties. I don’t know. Someone who’s stable, a college graduate and looks good. The scary part is that they’ll eventually leave me for someone younger when I start to look old. That shit really scares me. Anyways, that’s what I want. Then I can move to the city with my husband and eventually raise a family near the end of law school and he can help me think straight and make good decisions and support me while I do the same for him. However it’s not like every guy I talk to I’m gonna beg for a wedding ring. That would be weird. Like creepy shit. This is just my fantasy, but that type of stuff never happens. So until then I’ll just be fucking with these basic niggas. Hopefully someone special shows up then I’ll consider the traditional way.
1. OMG he doesn’t like me
2. He does like me and he’s trying to be mysterious
3. Ugh that last LOL from LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL was too much and now he thinks I’m delirious.
4. Maybe he’s in danger
5. Maybe he thinks I’m in danger and is looking for help
6. He’s texting someone else more important :/
7. Maybe I didn’t hit send
8. Maybe he didn’t hit send
9. His phone must be old
10. OH NO HE HAS NO SERVICE, he might be stranded
11. I spelt that last word wrong and maybe he’s into correct gramma.
12. HE PROBABLY DIDN’T THINK MY LAST YO MOMMA JOKE WAS FUNNY
13. Aw he’s probably sleeping that’s so cute ^____^
14. That nigga better get up I got more important shit to than to just wait for him to reply
15. Oh oops I guess I really didn’t hit send.
“Um, Hey”
A holiday I previously dreaded, like Christmas, and was worried how everything would turn out. I thought to myself, considering the circumstances, what could I be thankful for? But then I realized how dumb, I mean dumb, I would look ignoring that fact that I’m lucky to have a home, a father that cares, some helpful family members, amazing friends, and a chance at success. So yeah, I am very thankful. I’m thankful for the memories I’ve had with my mom, stepfather and aunt before they passed. For the house I was able to live in before it was sold, and for the opportunities God has given me. I never thought I’d feel this way and who knows I could just be shooting the breeze to make myself feel better. I know this isn’t going to be easy but I would be wrong to say I have nothing to be thankful for. Because God is my savior there’s bound to something. There’s always something.
1. Bambi
2. Spongebob
3. Pooh
4. The Penguins of Madagascar
5. Blue
6. Dumbo
7. Simba
8. Gerald
9. Franklin the Turtle
10. Carl from Up
all the ones I can remember at least.
